Side Effects
I don't know about most people, but I have rarely been bothered by the side effects of medicine. Until recently that is. The new medication I've been on for a little over a month has hit me with tons of side effects. A few of them, the least pleasant at least, have worn off. There was a while where I only wanted to eat about once a day and when I did eat, it was very little. I'm up to eating two full meals and one snack a day. I spare you the details of the other unpleasant side effect, but needless to say, I am very happy that has passed.
Now for the side effects that I still feel. One side effect that I don't really appriciate is that I get vaguely naseated at random times during the day. I've never had that strong of a stomach, but feeling like I might need to pray to the porcelain god for a bit sucks. Another side effect that I've been dealing with is that I sleep lightly now. I wake up several times during the night, causing me to remember several of my dreams from that night very vividly. Last night I had a very real feeling dream about going to the doctor and having blood work done. I woke up this morning and checked my arm to see if I still had the tract mark, only to realize it was a dream. Also, if I am more than a couple of hours late taking my medications, I get very sleepy after I finally take them. I am yawning right now in fact. (Yes, I was bad and took my meds a couple of hours late.)
However, thought none of these are appealing side effects, I cannot fathom going off of my medication. I have Never felt so strongly about needing to be on a medication for an extended period of time. Six years is a long time to fight off depression and self worth problems. I think that after I managed this long with only minor physical scars, I deserved a little help. This medication is a heaven send in my opinion. Those close to me have noticed only slight differences. I, however, have seen major changes. I lived a lie for far too long. Pretending to be happy when I was anything but. This medication doesn't make me "happy", but it allows me to not feel as if there is hope. Hope was something I had missed.
Now for the side effects that I still feel. One side effect that I don't really appriciate is that I get vaguely naseated at random times during the day. I've never had that strong of a stomach, but feeling like I might need to pray to the porcelain god for a bit sucks. Another side effect that I've been dealing with is that I sleep lightly now. I wake up several times during the night, causing me to remember several of my dreams from that night very vividly. Last night I had a very real feeling dream about going to the doctor and having blood work done. I woke up this morning and checked my arm to see if I still had the tract mark, only to realize it was a dream. Also, if I am more than a couple of hours late taking my medications, I get very sleepy after I finally take them. I am yawning right now in fact. (Yes, I was bad and took my meds a couple of hours late.)
However, thought none of these are appealing side effects, I cannot fathom going off of my medication. I have Never felt so strongly about needing to be on a medication for an extended period of time. Six years is a long time to fight off depression and self worth problems. I think that after I managed this long with only minor physical scars, I deserved a little help. This medication is a heaven send in my opinion. Those close to me have noticed only slight differences. I, however, have seen major changes. I lived a lie for far too long. Pretending to be happy when I was anything but. This medication doesn't make me "happy", but it allows me to not feel as if there is hope. Hope was something I had missed.
posted by Meredith @ 7:59 PM
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