**Explicit Content**

Please don't read the following post if you are easily offended by things of a sexual nature.







I am amazed on a daily basis at how well I apparently hide my sexual nature. I am a very sexual person, but apparently most people who talk to me on a day to day basis have trouble seeing me in that light. Is there something wrong with enjoying the fact that I am a sexual creature with wants, needs, and desires? Sometimes I feel so stifled because there are so few people who will allow me to joke about it, or who I can joke about it with without feeling "weird". Jeez, what is wrong with me? I can be a depraved and explicit individual, given the chance. The people who I feel comfortable showing that side too often seem to understand me better. I guess that is partly because I am in a comfortable and healthy relationship with a sexual aggresive man. I have no problem voicing and joking about desires and whims of myself or others.

Ya know, I didn't have this problem when my hair was waist length and black and I wore black and red make-up. People naturally assumed that I was deviant and that I must be sexually deviant as well. So, problem solved. No more strawberry blonde, happy perky Mer. From now on I will be ..... oh who am I kidding? I know I'm not going to dye my hair black again or go back to wearing all that make-up. I like the way I look normally. I guess I just need to accept the fact that people assume I am innocent and carefree and that I don't know what it's like to brandish a leather whip and wear black stiletto heels and nothing else.