Muted Anger

What a vicious cycle Adam and I have entered into. He feels like the only thing I want to do, and talk about doing, is playing Final Fantasy XI. I think he doesn't care about the things I've deemed important, and so I (childishly) put a lessor value on the things he's deemed important. I sit here typing, afraid that if I start making an effort to put a level of importance on the things he thinks are important, he won't do the same for me.

There is a part of me that seriously wants to tell him to stuff it, and that I want a partner, not a father. I honestly feel like he treats me like a second class citizen simply because I've had problems in the past that I am still working on fixing today. Yes, I realize I am not the cleanest person on the planet. Yes, I realize that I have screwed up almost every part of my life at one point or another. Yes, I realize that I am 21 and only now learning some of the basic lessons of being a functioning mature adult. That doesn't mean that I want to be treated like an invalid child. I don't want to be treated like I can't take care of myself. I want the same respect and love everyone is offered freely.

Music: None
Mood: Upset