Today

Bellydancing is mind numbingly wonderful. I easily lose myself in the repetitive motions and graceful movements. The beats of the songs translate into a physical music as I move my body in time. I cannot imagine how people can live life without exercising. Without exercise I become so stressed and depressed that I almost can't function.

When I took a shower after I bellydanced, I had forgotten that the load of dishes I had done would use up the last of the hot water. I had to take an ice cold shower. In a way, it was nice for the freezing water to wash away the sweat I had worked up.

Today has been quite stressful. I told Adam about the fact that Jon has been sexually harassing me. Mike and Brian are both pissed at Jon because he chooses not to live in our reality and won't listen to anyone. My character at Dreamcatchers is reeling from a huge falling through with a romantically linked character. I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions. I don't know what to deal with first. It reminds me of freshman year, about a month after I broke up with Noah.

I was cast in the Klein production of 'The Sound of Music'. We were in the midst of a very rigorous rehearsing schedule. I was finally starting to come to terms with the sexual, emotional, and physical abuse I had survived. Noah had finally stopped stalking me at that point. It was at this time I was beginning to reveal to my friends the scar marks on my wrists and the true nature of my relationship with Noah. It was a draining time in my life.

I feel that same drain now. However, I blame it all on Jon. If he would accept responsibility for his actions and deal with his problems, then I wouldn't have all this drama in my life right now. I could take this one week of vacation time before fall term starts and relax. Damn I need to read a good book right now.