Joan
They called Joan of Arc crazy simply because she talked to God. Or did they call her crazy because God spoke back?
Why are some people so afraid of feeling God's presence in their lives? I rather like the feeling of love and joy that comes into my life everyday that I embrace God's blessings. Now, don't get me wrong. I can relate. I spent several years angry with God. So angry I went as far as to say He didn't exist, and that I would never believe that He did. But the cries of an angry child didn't make God turn away from my life. The complete opposite actually. I felt His embrace even more. And while I was angry, that love and salvation and joy scared me. I didn't think I deserved it, so I couldn't accept it.
It was only when I was 17, away from my parents and the influence of some rather mislead friends that I realized a truth. I would never be worthy of unconditional love. I am flawed by nature. All humans are. Once I realized that, God continued to call my name. Even louder this time. But I could no longer deny that call. I felt the pull of joy, love, and compassion. Only when I knew just how precious that unconditional love was could I accept it.
And accept it I did. Sitting on the linoelium floor of my kitchen, crying from the shear overpowering love and acceptance I felt from God, I finally accepted everything I had been denying for so long. God's pure, unadultered love had literally brought me to my knees.
Skip forward three years...
I have found myself in a close relationship with God that I cannot imagine my life without. How do those without God's love and guidence survive? I seek His wisdom and council everyday. It is an ever present compass in my life.
However, I must also consider those who follow God, but follow him only because He is all they know. God gave us each free will, and if you do not use that free will to choose how you worship him, are you not denying a blessing and gift God has put in your life? Why do "Christians" become so defensive when I question. God gave me an intellect. I think he would be very disapointed if I didn't use it.
Music: The Corrs - Only When I Sleep
Mood: Curious
Why are some people so afraid of feeling God's presence in their lives? I rather like the feeling of love and joy that comes into my life everyday that I embrace God's blessings. Now, don't get me wrong. I can relate. I spent several years angry with God. So angry I went as far as to say He didn't exist, and that I would never believe that He did. But the cries of an angry child didn't make God turn away from my life. The complete opposite actually. I felt His embrace even more. And while I was angry, that love and salvation and joy scared me. I didn't think I deserved it, so I couldn't accept it.
It was only when I was 17, away from my parents and the influence of some rather mislead friends that I realized a truth. I would never be worthy of unconditional love. I am flawed by nature. All humans are. Once I realized that, God continued to call my name. Even louder this time. But I could no longer deny that call. I felt the pull of joy, love, and compassion. Only when I knew just how precious that unconditional love was could I accept it.
And accept it I did. Sitting on the linoelium floor of my kitchen, crying from the shear overpowering love and acceptance I felt from God, I finally accepted everything I had been denying for so long. God's pure, unadultered love had literally brought me to my knees.
Skip forward three years...
I have found myself in a close relationship with God that I cannot imagine my life without. How do those without God's love and guidence survive? I seek His wisdom and council everyday. It is an ever present compass in my life.
However, I must also consider those who follow God, but follow him only because He is all they know. God gave us each free will, and if you do not use that free will to choose how you worship him, are you not denying a blessing and gift God has put in your life? Why do "Christians" become so defensive when I question. God gave me an intellect. I think he would be very disapointed if I didn't use it.
Music: The Corrs - Only When I Sleep
Mood: Curious
posted by Meredith @ 1:45 AM
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