Moving On

"I've dealt with my ghosts
and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength
in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on"
~Rascal Flatts

I am changing. I am starting a new chapter in my life. Do not mourn the girl you've known, because the woman remains intact. Laugh with me, love with me, and continue to learn with me.

The belief that I can change is here.

Thank you for the time you've sacrificed, the advice you've given, and the patience you've spared. I cannot explain the joy you all have brought me.

Music: Baby Blue Eyes - MM
Mood: Wonderous

Life Goes On

Or at least, it always seems to. Wether I am ready for it or not, life moves on every day.

Plans for me to fly to Houston to see my parents from June 16th through June 24th have been finalized. My mother's birthday is the 16th, my parents' 30th wedding anniversary is the 17th, my father's birthday is the 18th, and father's day is the 19th. Crazy, I know, but that's my family for ya. I'm getting to see several of my friends on the second half of the week. Jon and Jer being two of the friends I am getting to see.

This weekend was fun. Bowling, dinner with friends, comic store, Phantasy Star Online, and relaxing filled the hours of Saturday and Sunday. I don't remember whether I took my medication on Sunday though, and that's a bad thing.

Last night I took a bad fall. Walking in the dark towards my apartment, I tripped on a rock and landed face first on the concrete. I bloodied up my knee pretty bad, skinned both hands, and my right elbow. I couldn't walk at first my knee hurt so much. Adam was really freaked when he saw me fall. I was carrying Adam's beer and one broke when I fell. I was just happy I didn't land on the beer.

Today, I need to get clothes detergent at Walmart and clean. There will be alot of cleaning tonight.

Music: The first book of the Quran in Arabic with an english translation on my Winamp
Mood: Pretty Good other than the headache

Thrusdays

I never did get the hang of Thursdays...

I am back to revisiting my old dear friend, Apathy. Or rather, it is visiting me. Do not fear, because I am dealing with it quite well, and will overcome it soon.

Yesterday I finally came to terms with the end of a romantic relationship I should have been over close to 5 months ago. I will not say it is the end of our relationship in general because he is still a close friend of mine. I only wish I had gotten to know him this well while we were in high school. I could have used a true friend like him in my corner during those years. However, I know he's on my side now, and frankly, now is what really matters. My only lingering concern is that due to my surprize at hearing he was dating again he will think I am angry with him or that the heartbreak I suffered is a reason for guilt on his part. In all honesty, though I will confess I have suffered heartbreak, it will not be the end of me and my heart mends very quickly (probably due in part to the fact that I know that he won't stop caring for me as a friend, even if he did stop caring for me as a girlfriend).

On to lighter subjects! Today I get to go in and re-sign my lease with my apartment people. I do not relish the thought of going back into the office which I escaped a mere two years ago. I may be taking my Paxil early today because I start to feel panic rising anytime I think about the year of stress and tears I spent working there after high school. ... Do I have any period of time in my life that I don't have panic attacks about?! Yes, yes I do. There was that three weeks between Fall Semester of 2002 and Spring Semester of 2003. That was a nice time.

Anyway, I'm off to brave the offices of Delview Properties, LLC and then to have lunch.

Music: None, I fear
Mood: Pretty Damned Good

Update

Well, I am loving the new gym membership. I joined Northridge Fitness yesterday morning. I worked out yesterday, and then today I cycled and stair climbed. I am going to go clean on my room later. Maybe I'll even get to cleaning my truck finally.

Music: None
Mood: Pretty okay